The Guacamole and Bacon Burrito that gets you in trouble with god.

3 strips Carando apple cider cured bacon (cut in half)
1/4 to 1/2 cup homemade guacamole (as desired)
1 clove sliced elephant garlic
1/4 cup shredded lettuce
1 flour tortilla
1 church
cheese

The Repeat-After-Me Method.

1: Cook bacon at low temperature until edges are red, leaving fat a little chewy. Place on paper towel to drain. Eat one slice (keeps the hungries away); save the other two for burrito.

2: Toss most of elephant garlic into hot bacon grease with heat off. Stir or flip around and heat as needed until outside is seared. Eat the rest of raw garlic with cheese (see parenthetical reference #1). Drain seared garlic on paper towel.

3: Place cheese on tortilla. Microwave on paper towel 15 seconds or until cheese is melty and tortilla is warm.

4: Layer Guacamole, lettuce, bacon and garlic onto warm, melty-cheesed flour tortilla.

5: Roll. Eat. Chase with frosty beverage of choice.

6: Repent in church for wanting to touch yourself.